my rehabilitation ended this week. I had my last check visit in Verve and I am totally ready for working world. That seems so weird. We talked about how much I have changed. When I started at Verve (place where they help you find your career path if you have physical or mental problems) I went there and cried every damn day. I needed a lot of help even with my cv. And now, I am at school and learning how to start my own business. I am making my own plans, by myself and that is something that feels truly great. 2 weeks has already passed, 4 to go. I am learning so much, I have so much inspiration and my plans has sharpened.
I still have a lot of time before the company is really coming true, because of many things (that´s life), so I have been thinking what to do while waiting my dream to come true. I want to use my time carefully. Doing maybe something that helps me with my goal. I have been thinking about doing more school. Maybe marketing, because that I really love to do already, that would help with the company too. Or maybe freelance photographing. Maybe I fully focus on my photography project and book and do that. Maybe I put FAM on totally next level. Many options. I am glad that I am in that point in my life that I have many passions that I love and I can work with. I am also blessed with friends and a partner that wants to help and support me. I can do anything that I want.
Because all of that, I have been very inspired to help my friends to find passion and goals in life too. I have helped couple of my friends already and that feels great. Somehow supporting and trying to figure out what might be the path for my friends inspire me in my own life too. I feel great. If any of you have that same problem (it seems to be more common than I thought), let me know, let´s figure out something together! Only sky is the limit (unless you want to be a pilot or something) if you really dream about something. And it doesn´t need to be anything big. It could even be a hobby that you enjoy that brings value in your life. That makes you happy and balance the stressing work life. Or maybe you don´t work and don´t have hobbies and feel like you don´t have anything special in your life. I suggest you try things that even little makes you feel worth trying for. Maybe you will be good at it, or maybe you don´t. At least you tried, figured you don´t like it, or maybe you do like it and enjoy doing it. It doesn´t matter how good you are doing something, if it is the thing that feels well.. being your thing. So dear darkling, just try and learn and enjoy life.
Even my hair has a story. Well, mostly it´s orange/yellow because of the autumn and my love for it. But it also represent my inspiration and bubbly feeling for the future, and even how I feel today. All the excitement, all the inspiration, all the happiness. I feel bright and and very pleased. That is so rare to me that I want to fully enjoy this. And I want to show it and share it with others. I have gone such a rough path, lots of pain, lots of tears, lots of fear and letdowns. Still, I want to always be positive, reach my dreams, be the best friend I can be and inspire others. I want to be the person that I admire myself. Because you are the most important person in your life. You are the one that make the changes, you are the one that make the decisions, your are the one that is your own best friend. You need to enjoy your own company, love yourself and just be proudly, you. No one else can do that for you. They can help and support, but you are the one living YOUR life. You deserve the best. And by best I mean the quality, the value and being safe. And by that I mean little things in life that makes your whole life. Meaningful moments turns to memories you cherish your whole life. Happy and hard moments change you, you learn, it will shape you to be the person who you are today. It´s okey to feel sad, angry and all those that we seems to see negative. But remember to do shadow work. Accept your feelings, work with them and learn about yourself.
So, the conclusion for my rant this time, go for it, be you, do your thing. If you are scared, let me say, so am I. Don´t let the fear be in your way. You can´t be brave unless you are afraid (like it´s said in Lion King). And also, take care for yourself. It seems to be a thing that seem so easy and simple but we tend to forget that. I started to do some exercise again, I smoke a lot less and eat a lot healthier. I feel way better. Because of that I need less sleep than I normally do (I sleep like 9-12 hours per day).
Today I am doing some photoshop editing, some school stuff and maybe doing some shadow work with a friend that truly needs it. I hope it helps and make things seem more clear (to me and my friend). Myself, hmm.. I have some anger issues. I don´t deal with my anger, I hide it under bitterness. And that´s not good. So I need to work with that. I can´t wait to see what else hides in the shadows of my mind.
Things I love at the moment:
shine bright my loves!