Cinderella (2015)

Sooo... I have been loving classic fairytale movies lately. And some reason the acted ones has been the top thing this winter. Here is few new ones I watched first time ever or after a long time (didn´t even remember the plot). Definitely  must see movies for you too! Or.. maybe I just do this one by one, otherwise this would be too long post for you to read ha! Let´s start with Cinderella!

Ok I know what you guys think, how can this story or movie or what ever, be told any new kind of way, well, getting all beautiful by fashion, scenery, awesome actors, music and directing. It really went trough my feelings and I even cried. I needed to watch the movie twice, first watch wasn´t enough! 

If you have seen Once upon a time, you know how the dressing make you feel all uuu and aahh, well, this movie does that. Sandy Powell just kicked ass by her designs. Earlier costumes I like for her doing (just by examples) was from Interview with the vampire and Gangs of New York. 

And you may know how in Once upon a time they make you understand and love the villains too (like in the Maleficent, you just can´t but love how they make you feel all different about all the characters.

"Have courage and be kind", it is like a new motto for me. It is such a good thing to everyone to remember, that you need to have courage when things get rough and even the hardest times, people need kindness. Ella´s mom is such a great mom. And her dad too. The mansion is totally my dream home, so much nature there too! Stepmom has the wickest style ever, gosh I want to wear her every outfit. And if I had a fairy godmother, I wish Helena (her costume lights up when she cast spells!!) will buff her way in to my life! Oh the glitter in this movie..

Ps. I wish I had the rose garden from the palace.

Dystopia

A dystopia (from the Greek δυσ- and τόπος, alternatively, cacotopia, kakotopia, or simply anti-utopia) is a community or society that is undesirable or frightening. It is translated as "not-good place", an antonym of utopia, a term that was coined by Sir Thomas More and figures as the title of his most well-known work, Utopia (the blueprint for an ideal society with minimal crime, violence and poverty). Dystopian societies appear in many artistic works, particularly in stories set in the future. Some of the most famous examples are George Orwell's 1984 and Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. Dystopias are often characterized by dehumanization, totalitarian governments, environmental disaster, or other characteristics associated with a cataclysmic decline in society. Dystopian societies appear in many subgenres of fiction and are often used to draw attention to real-world issues regarding society, environment, politics, economics, religion, psychology, ethics, science, and/or technology. Some authors however also use the term to refer to actually-existing societies, many of which are or have been totalitarian polities, or societies in an advanced state of collapse and disintegration. An attempt to draw together and compare both the fictional and real dystopias has been made in Gregory Claeys's Dystopia: A Natural History (Oxford University Press, 2016). Wikipedia

I don´t actually know what to say. I have been feeling so empty this past week. I was out with my best friend and we went to a club, I was so happy and I really felt true joy when I saw her dance, she never dances. But then something hit me, so many people, with so many emotions, it was just too much. Now I feel isolated and at the same time I miss people and energy. 

Every time these kind of feelings hits me, it is so confusing. What do I really feel? Who I really am? What I even want to do? Do I really exist? 

Some how dystopia makes me feel peace, the whole world seem so chaotic at the moment and I always reason it even more chaotic in my head. I try to find different sides of everything, analyze things and find beauty in ugliness. People. You make me feel crazy and sane at the same time. I don´t know does that even make any sense.

My whole life and existence seems so.. beyond. I am lifted from being just some material, I feel like I am part of everything and still nothing. Everything seems to have a deeper meaning and it matters. Still it doesn´t. At all. Nothing does. Does it?

All I want to do is make people happy. But if I can´t even make myself happy, how do I do that? I am so done being depressed. I miss me. After I realized how much I changed last year, I have only wanted my old self back. Although before last year, I hated me. But what I actually hate, is being feelingless. I love being super loud, super happy, super smiley. I want to dance, make my friends laugh and tell random people why they are awesome. I love giving unbirthday gifts, do good things without any reason, speak stuff that doesn´t make any sense. I love life. I love love.

So maybe I should. Starting today (again) I do stuff that makes me happy, so I can YOU guys happy too! Seeing all shades of blue, while being blue.

New year resolutions

I am going trough last years pictures and videos, I am making new video diary series, now that I have already shooted everything (episode every week!). I am missing my nails from last spring.. and my long straight red and black hair. My hair is all black now, because I messed up my dyes, damn it! But it will come back soon, I have already bought new silver colors, can´t wait to show you my new style soon!

Last year was very difficult for me, many people left from my life, but I got so many new ones and the old best ones, well they are the best for reason right? I feel the change in me. I am def not the same person I was before. Trust is the main thing these days. I am still super open for my best friends, but other people, opening up is so hard. I can just feel the words and feeling coming up and then.. nothing. I just can´t anymore. Maybe it is a good thing. I am not that type of "normal" finn, I always do what I want, speak everything that comes in mind, I love hugging even strangers and helping is my thing. So maybe, becoming more adult I guess, I can finally understand people who aren´t that open to others. I don´t, still, never want to become cold and selfish, I just couldn´t. If there is so much bad in the world, karma always get its way and there are always someone who´s day you can bright.. yeah, I don´t want become cold, never. So my new years resolution is to become more like me. Again. Love life, love people, love animals, love nature, do the stuff I love the most. I feel better already just thinking about this!

Corset: Sanna Von Steam

Jeans: Spirit store

Jewelry: Purple Octopus Jewellery

Nails: Bella made my nails

What else..

• I want FAM to grow, 
• I want my own pages to grow.. 
• I want to get passport and get at least one time in my life go pass my fear of going further from Finland.
• I will pass one other fear from my never ending list (last year it was the horses)
• I want to go music festival with my friends
• Medieval festival also!
• I will go Tracon with my bestest friends and have uber time
• More concerts and gigs
• I will keep my home clean (haha I wish!)
• We will go more to our summerhouse this summer and I will start my summer garden
• I will start my herb kitchen
• More plants in the bedroom
• Spring cleaning and new balcony 
• BatFit 2017 will be wicked
• I pay my loans, all of them (how adult but they stress me a lot)
• I will full my arms with tattoos (oh yeah!)
• Do things like I want them to do and stop please people
• Start streaming games on Twitch and Youtube
• Do vlogging and Youtube at least once a week
• Blog at least once a week
• Paint and draw more